The past few years I have been waiting.
Waiting on news about Rabindra’s visa.
Waiting to take our first trip to Nepal.
Waiting to meet his family.
Waiting to make plans for our future.
Waiting to travel the world.
A friend of mine recently asked me if I regretted it all. They said to me “you were always the one that was going to travel the world and save the babies in Africa. I mean I know you love Rabindra but look at what you’ve been through. You have put your life on hold and you are so stressed out. You have changed. Is it all worth it?”
Yes it’s true I’ve put my life on hold. I haven’t been to Africa and I haven’t travelled the world like I hoped.
Last year a group of my friends took an overseas trip to Europe- the one we had been planning since high school. I couldn’t go because of the situation we are in regarding Rabindra’s visa and not knowing what will happen to us.
I got jealous a couple of times when they called me from exotic, far flung places in the middle of the night while I was in bed after a long day of commuting and working.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on everything over the past few days.
I don’t know how much more waiting I can do but I’ve reached a place where I think I’m going to be a lot stronger and I just have to accept whatever comes my way.
It’s taken me a long time to accept that things will never be truly normal for me.
We are unlikely to have the financial positions that so many of my friends have here because we’ll have his family to support.
We will face discrimination and we will be judged by others.
I can’t expect things to be easy for us.
We will have a tough road ahead.
All the waiting is frustrating and is taking a huge mental toll on me.
It’s true that I don’t know where I will be one year from now.
Maybe I will look back and regret it. Who knows.
But for now I do not regret missing out on travelling the world with my friends or not going to Africa on a humanatarian visit like I planned.
I can still do my bit with kids- maybe not in Africa but in a place I feel so much more love for- Nepal.
I feel blessed I met Rabindra. He changed my life in ways no-one will ever know except me.
I was looking at him the other day and thought to myself, “we are from completely different backgrounds, we have lived totally different lives. But here we are, together, after more than 2 and a half years, and we are both changing and evolving for the sake of each other.”
I guess not many people would understand what I mean by this unless you are in a intercultural relationship.
So as for my friend’s question, the answer is this: yes, it is all worth it.
It’s an adventure very few will ever get to experience.
I chose this life because of love. It’s not going to be easy, but I chose it.
I won’t back out now.
Have people you know questioned the reasons for your relationship and what it’s worth? How have you responded?
Do you think life is inherently harder because you are in an intercultural relationship?
Do you regret anything?