It’s time

In just over a week, we will be landing in Kathmandu!!

This is not just a holiday or visit to see family.

For those following my story, you will know this trip is my first trip meeting the in-laws.

I will meet Rabindra’s parents and extended family for the first time and whilst I hide it from most people, I’m scared because it’s going to be a monumental trip for my future.

Even though Rabindra’s parents have accepted our relationship, there’s no underestimating it, we face many difficulties on this trip.

First of all we are going as an unmarried couple into a small rural village where conservatism is the norm.

On top of that we have the added issue that I am an Australian woman, not Nepali.

No-one in his family has ever been in a relationship with a foreign man or woman (except an Indian).

I don’t speak the language and the majority of his family do not speak English.

We are breaking new ground.

There will be testing times like how Rabindra’s family explains me to all the interested onlookers who all know his parents well.  Their reputation is on the line.

There’s going to be a lot of pressure on Rabindra’s parents, Rabindra and myself while we are over there.

I’ve also never been to Nepal and I’m sure I will experience some level of culture shock.

Many of my Nepali friends don’t think I can survive in the village too long.

Compared to my western world of a 9am-5pm air conditioned office job with a home that has all the basics you need, what awaits me in Nepal is a lack of running water, no electricity for most of the day, showering with my clothes outdoors in minus temperatures and using a toilet in the ground.

It’s not going to be easy but I am determined to be strong.

Wish me luck, I’m gonna need it

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This entry was posted in Culture, Differences, Family, Intercultural Relationship, Language, Love, Nepal and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to It’s time

  1. Kali says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for sometime, I wish you and Rabindra lots of luck I wish u safe trip too! I’m excited to read your next blogs my love one its from Nepal too 😉

    • Thank you Kali, I checked out your blog, can’t wait to read more

      • nazza says:

        umm i thinks that was nice to read your blog , i just relise that many happen was same like mine beause i am nepali and my girlfriend is english and we went to vilage meet my parents and that was really nice time to for us but same time my mum dosent like her and that was the problems still we stayed there couple of days, if you go village you must have to do cutting grass and carry them to bring home and give them to bufflow or goat what ever and cleaning the animals house lookafter them you have to wake up early morning . any way dont worry you dont have to do allof this things but you beter be carefull.umm you were talking about few lake and mountain that is amazing dont miss in nepal pokhara lake side to visit and boating there.ok keep and touch its good.

  2. Neo says:

    Wow, girl! Good luck! I’m sure it will be an experience you will never forget. Hope that all goes as smoothly as it possibly can and you’re able to adjust. How long will you be there?

  3. nepali jiwan says:

    That’s so exciting!! How far is his village from Kathmandu? I’m sure you’ve already thought of this, but consider bringing lots of gifts, chocolates/candy, clothing, treats/toys for any children, etc. I’m sure his family will love you! 🙂

  4. Aakar says:

    hmm, don’t think too much! I’m sure, you’ll gonna enjoy, despite of some difficulty.

  5. Padmini says:

    I wish the best to you both. You will do great. Just hold your love in your heart. What a big step!!! I’ll send hope, peace, happiness, and love energy to you. Shubah Yatra!!!!

  6. White Bhabi says:

    I think you will be pleasantly surprised at first by the interest the community will show in you. Try not to let it get to you that they are more interested than you are used to. The attention can sometimes be overwhelming. Luckily you are going as the temperatures start to warm somewhat so you may also be surprised at how quickly you can adjust to the water temperature. This will also give your body time to adjust to the differences. As a nice treat for yourself, get some cheap baby wipes and keep them on hand. These are great for washing your face when you don’t feel like dealing with the water, etc. The toilet in the ground is not nearly as bad as it sounds though it can be tricky to use. You can google for tips that will work for you because everyone is different. However, no matter what kind of toilet you use, I recommend you pull your kurta up in the back and tuck it under your armpits before you attempt to sit down. it stays remarkably well and you won’t have to stress over any accidents as a result of it. 😉

    Good luck on your journey. It will be trying at times but it can be survived.

  7. Ariapahari says:

    Good luck it’s definitely going to be a challenging but unforgettable experience 🙂

  8. saathi says:

    wow! Good luck with everything and safe travels. Kudos to you for your willingness to experience village life. Definately an experience that you will remember for a life time!

  9. Love in London says:

    Can’t wait to hear all about your trip! Wishing you a wonderful time!!

  10. Thank you everyone. I really appreciate all your good wishes

    • B says:

      Gal, im very sure you ll have lots of fun in Nepal. just be respectful and u ll get the respect back. Im pretty sure you have tried to sell your self before to impress some1, ie: job interviews, first dates lol. etc.. all you gotta do is try n sell yourself when your there after all they are your husbands family.
      i think you ll be perfectly fine and knowing how much you know and respect our culture and people, they ll be glad to have you in the family and welcome you with open arms.

      if you have any questions whilst your there jus let us know and we ll be more than happy to suggest you what to do..

      Regards
      B

  11. americanepali says:

    Safe travels! Can’t wait to hear about your trip!

  12. ullu says:

    Four days ago I came back from Nepal. Visited my in-laws for the first time and stayed there for 6 weeks.. 🙂 I’m sure your trip will go well! But pe prepared, you might cry or get angry few times! Atleast I did.

  13. Enjoy your stay and have a wonderful trip. As you know so much about Nepal already, I am hoping you won’t be shocked with culture and people there. Do share the experience with us 🙂

  14. Basundhara says:

    Oh its the same situation like me.
    First let me say………I m sure you will enjoy your trip, you will come back with a lot of happiness and new expiriences.
    We, my boyfriend and me, were together 6 weeks ago in his village in Nepal, for meet the first time his father. ( His mom I know). We were a long way from Kathmandu. In Khotang ( east Nepal)
    Till now we are unmarried too and we haven’t problems with the society in the village. All peoples there had given my a verry warm welcome.
    Not only my friends familiy, all in the village, we made a lot of visites, because all of the village given us a invide. It was so great for me. Sure where ever I go, there was a lot of glances to me, because till now never a white girl was there. After some time the village peoples asked me about all topic’s. They were so nosey……ahahahahha

    Dont worry, you will love all………I m sure.
    I wish you a great time there.
    regards Basundhara

  15. Amanda Danielle says:

    Wow so lucky! I can’t wait to go to Nepal to meet my husbands family! I haven’t gotten to meet anyone in his family since he hasn’t even seen his parents in almost 4 years! 😦 but when the day comes its goin to be crazy! I can only imagine what emotion you will be going through! Wow 6 weeks is a looooong time! That’s so amazing! What is the village his family lives in?

  16. Good luck on your trip and keep up updated!

  17. Tayla says:

    Wow amazing to hear people that are in the same or similar situation as me I’m from Australia also and I’m with an Indian yet to make it even harder we are 8 years difference I’m almost 18 he just turned 25 but he looks my age , legit ! And my family have already accepted him as seeing me marrying him in future which is ofcourse in a few years to come but I am yet to meet his family. It feels like a lot of pressure. Goodluck it’s nice to see us Aussie girls mixing with Indians/Nepalese etc. 🙂

  18. Nicky Singh says:

    Hi, I moved to India with my husband about a year ago from Australia, I will be staying a couple more years before returning home. When I first arrived to Amritsar my husband family showered us with flowers and sweets, we had many family members come and visit to welcome us. At first I was completely overwhelmed with all of the attention and the staring, however life settled down and I slowly got used to everything. I.m sure your husband family will welcome you with open arms.
    Best of luck!

    Nicky Singh.

  19. Wishing you all the best!! Can’t wait to hear all about it. I’m sure everything will go well 🙂

  20. Arizelle says:

    Hi casey,

    How I adore your blog so much, I started reading it last night and I couldn’t believe that it could happen…………….I like this Nepali guy so much I fell in love with him, I’m Asian too but from the South East. At first we were on the same direction and same feeling about one another. But things change after a month of dating, he wanted to be best of friends with full benefits of being like in a relationship ;( I felt so sad I thought he was different. He even told me that if we pursue a relationship his parents won’t approve on it and force him to marry some one else ;( His mind is clouded too much and mine was confused already……………….can you give me some advice. I really need one right now………………You and Rabindra are my inspiration.

  21. Kay in India says:

    “what awaits me in Nepal is a lack of running water, no electricity for most of the day, showering with my clothes outdoors in minus temperatures and using a toilet in the ground.”

    Holy-cow-batman yikes. Best of luck!

  22. Kevin & Debs Shore says:

    Casey and Rabindra, have a fantastic time, i am sure you have been made very welcome, but Rabindra’s family and friends – language is not a barrier. I have been visiting this fantastic country for the past 18 years, over 20 times to indulge my passion for travelling helping those less fortunate than ourselves. Currently in Kathmandu, before travelling to the Meghauli and Madi area, where i set up a medical center for the local people, and have just purchased the land for a second Health Post and 4th Kindergarten. If you would like to stay at our accommodation in Meghauli as my guest, please email me. Maybe we could meet in Kathmandu? would love to hear from you. Kevin & Debs Shore

    • Thanks so much for your comment. I was already at the end of the trip and didn’t get a chance to come your ay. if you are still doing this work in the future I would love to meet you both. keep in touch

  23. Natalie Donkin says:

    Hi,
    I am about to embark on my 3rd trip to Nepal and my 2nd trip as a member of a surgical reconstruction team, treating Nepali burns victims who are suffering with burn contractures. I am a registered nurse and our team of volunteer nurses and doctors volunteer our time, skills and provide surgery, treatment, food, transportation and accommodation to those patients who are selected for surgery. In 2011, we treated 98 patients in just 2 weeks. We are leaving for Nepal in just a few weeks and still desperately are trying to raise funds through donations. Would you please take a look at my link to see the work that we do and the amazing difference it is making to these people. If anyone out there feels they could make even a small donation, I would be very grateful. Donations are tax deductible and your receipt is available to print off immediately. Thank you to anyone who can help. http://nepalreconstructive2012.gofundraise.com.au/page/NatalieDonkin

  24. Pingback: The long story- from Australia to Nepal (part 1) | white girl in a sari

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