The beginning and the now

My man and I met in November 2008 in Australia. We met in a restaurant/bar.

I later found out he arrived in Australia on the day of my birthday…at this time we didn’t know each other. Some say it’s karma.

We fell in love quickly. All the rules were thrown out the window.

To be honest, I’d heard of Nepal but didn’t even know where it was on a map. I knew nothing about tikka, sari, sindoor, Dashain, the signficiance of cows, chaupaudi, dhal bhaat or 1974 AD.

Now, I know a lot more about Nepal- everything from family life, culture, festivals, food, taboos- but I still don’t know much at all.

I have found it very hard to deal with many aspects of our intercultural relationship. There have been times where I couldn’t cope with all the cultural differences but we have managed to compromise and adapt to each other’s cultures all for the sake of love.

We both share the same values that family is core but we still have different views on everything from politics to how to raise a baby/child

Rabindra is a passionate, vibrant and loving person and is nicknamed ‘smiley’ because he smiles all the time. My family and friends adore him.

He has an enormous circle of friends, thousands in fact, which to Australians would seem quite odd but in Nepal this is not uncommon because of the way these communities live.

We applied to Immigration for Rabindra to live in Australia and finally found success.

It was full of stress and trouble from the start but we try to take each day as it comes and hope that we will be afforded the right to stay together so we can start a family and do everything western couples can do. When you are in love it’s so hard to imagine life without that person, however it’s a reality when you come from different countries.

 

 

 

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This entry was posted in Cross-cultural, Culture, Immigration, Intercultural Relationship, Love, Nepal and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to The beginning and the now

  1. americanepali says:

    Hurray! Another blog about Nepali-Caucasian relationships! Looking forward to reading more! 🙂

  2. Gregory Cowan says:

    When you go to Nepal = I will come with you that way when you have moments of frustration you can talk to me and feel partly sane – and me being the expert Nepalese traveller we can have fun! xx

  3. laurel hopper says:

    Yay! I am married to a Nepali man as well, very sweet man (who also seems to smile a lot.) We too have had terrible issues with dealing with immigration here in America. At times we feared that he would be deported (because of the type of visa he came in on.) This was all when I was 6 months pregnant so it has been quite scary at times! I can sympathize! I haven’t met his folks yet either but we are traveling there in the spring of 2011 with our baby boy. We will stay a month. I am very nervous about meeting his folks! Hope to read many more posts about your relationship! Maybe I should start a blog too?

    • Laurel, so great to read your post and that everything has worked out for you. you are so blessed to have a little boy. i’d love to see pictures- you should email me! I cant believe you still havent met the parents. wow. how did they approve of your relationship when you hadnt met them? im sure you’ll be fine and they absolutely love babies/kids so that’s in your favour as well. Where in Nepal is your husband from? Yes you should start a blog, apart from C at Musings from an American Nepali Household blog, I don’t know of others in Nepal-western who have a blog 🙂

  4. Pingback: My blog in review | white girl in a sari

  5. Anand says:

    I will love to know about you guys…
    and write a bit may be

  6. suman says:

    it’s really nice writing. I like it. Thanx to love nepal n nepali

  7. Sarah says:

    Oh Dear…dont be fooled or blinded by the love you have of your man to mistake Nepal for a thing of beauty…I know this for a fact. I too was in love with the idea of Nepal and its glorious stories. Then i went there..for a year…I couldnt get home fast enough. You will be depressed and sickened by what you will see there i promise. I vow never to return, otherwise it might drive me to suicide. Seriously.

  8. Padmini says:

    does the 1step4nepal blog work? When I try to visit, I guess the privacy settings forbid it. Which I wouldn’t be surprised considering how private my Nepali bf is about letting anyone know.

  9. Bex says:

    Hi, has he been approved for his visa yet? Me and my husband have been married for 8 months now but we only applied for the visa in June 11. We didnt even receive a letter to let us know its been received but I rang and checked. Its such a mad process, being an Australian citizen and having strangers (and mostly immigrants themselves from what Ive seen in the Immigration offices) decide the fate of your chosen relationship.

    • Still no visa 😦 but read my latest post for an update. It’s good to know there are others out there in the same boat feeling like we are as we go around in circles with immigration. It’s a very difficult process as you said to have others decide on the fate of your relationship. All the best with your application, let me know how you go

  10. Hi Casey,
    When i read your blog i remember myself when i meet my wife… anyway keep up and write more looking forward more post.
    http://www.ganeshbhandri.com

  11. Amrit says:

    Fantastic blog , Casey.

  12. Kacie says:

    Casey, you are very blessed. I met a man from Nepal who is here in American doing post graduate work. It was “love at first conversation” for me. I was so intrigued by him, and found myself wanting to know more about Nepal (like you, I didn’t know exactly where it was on a map!) I believe you are there now, based on your posts, and I’m jealous, but happy for you that your long awaited dream has come true. I pray that his family falls in love with you too. The only problem with my situation is there is an age difference, but perhaps it won’t be an obstacle, because as you say, the heart has reasons that reason doesn’t recognize, and all the ‘rules’ go out the window… time will tell. I think intercultural relationships are beautiful and whisper harmony to our deepest nature. I look forward to hearing about your trip! ( Btw, my name is yours, just spelled differently!)

    • Thanks for your lovely comment. I especially liked this line ” I think intercultural relationships are beautiful and whisper harmony to our deepest nature”. I wish you all the best with your future together and I hope you continue to read my blog

  13. Hi Casey,
    Just few websites to enlighten you a lil bit more about Nepal and Nepalese.
    http://www.NepaleseAbroad.com
    http://www.Only-In-Nepal.com | http://www.TheKingdomOfNepal.com

  14. Aliza rokaya says:

    such an amazing story casey …i m in fact a nepali girl in relationship with a western guy ..its true that love has no boundaries …i m in relationship since 2 years ..i ve met my future in laws who are amazing but little bit scared and frustrated how its gonna be like when to introduce my man to my country and my family …how do u judge a nepal as a first impression ..i would love to hear about it …

    • hi aliza. i really think it’s different for nepali women and western men. yeh your parents might have always thought you’d marry a nepali but i dont think it will worry them as much. although i dont know your family history, caste and education etc which i think affects nepali’s parents decision of whether they approve of your relationship or not..

      my first impression of nepal was very good and i think your man will be fine if he’s open minded which im sure he is

      best of luck 🙂

  15. Coolguy says:

    white girl in saree…well,I read ur blog but not all at this moment.When I will have time,I am gonna read all ..ur love story part and ur blog is awesome…intercultural relationship is a rocking part for me..coz I always respect this kind of relationship…

  16. Coolguy says:

    I am a caucasian girl lover….hope to find soon…

  17. Diwas says:

    been married to a country girl from texas, loved your blog. reading your visit to nepal, I think I owe my wife a trip to Nepal with her. dont see it happening anytime soon though, paperwork and school and all that. Good luck for your future together.

  18. bishal says:

    Being treated like this, do you think or regret now that you should have married an aussie?

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